Day 2

I think having this blog will be good for me. Yesterday improved so much after I got all my thoughts out on paper. I really do have a geat family and the best friends a girl could ask for. I was doing my devotion this morning, some girls and I are doing the Beth Moore study Jesus: 90 days with the One and Only. Right now, I am really far behind and playing catch up, but hopefully, with you as my accountability, it will be easy to stay on top of it. Today, I was reading about Mary and Martha. I've always been able to identify with Martha, I told you that, kind of, yesterday. Martha was a worker bee. Martha thought it was her job to take care of everything and everybody. Not a bad goal-- completely unattainable-- but not a bad goal. She wanted everything to be perfect for Jesus. Can you blame her? The problem was that she was so distracted by what she was trying to do, that she couldn't even tell how much Jesus loved her. She came to him and said "Don't you care?" (Luke 10:40b) I've done that. Jesus, don't you care? Don't you care that I work so hard? Don't you care that I'm tired? And do you know what his overwhelming answer is? EVERYTIME I ask, his answer is, YES! He loves me so, so much. I just get 'worried and upset about many things' when 'only one thing is needed.' Yes, everything I worry about is still important, but sitting at Jesus' feet and learning from the master is MOST important. Beth Moore says, "Don't neglect to give Him ample opportunities to lavish you with the love He always feels for you." Wow. I always forget that! Lord, have your way with me. Show me how to focus on you and not worry about what is not right in my world all the time.

I was also thinking about something else from yesterday. At the very end of the passage, Mark 9:29, the disciples had asked Jesus why they couldn't heal the demon-possessed boy, and Jesus replies, "this kind can only come out by prayer." How many times do I forget that key part? I was thinking about my own child this morning. She's such a happy critter today. I don't know what makes the difference. Yesterday and the day before, she was evil. Not really evil, per se, but just mean and whiney. She's thrown 2 yr old sized temper tantrums that will bust your ear drums, and she's not even one yet. Now, she has always had belly problems, and I don't know if that is playing a part with her mood swings, or what. She has a 'dairy sensitivity,' we think. I have avoided all dairy and soy products for the whole first year and she's still having issues. We went to the allergist and he says it's not a 'true' dairy allergy, but it sure seems like something is up. I started adding soy back into her diet, and I'm slowly working in dairy products. Her mood swings are HORRIBLE, but how do I know if it's dairy related? I'm taking dairy back out, again, and we will see if the moods swing back to good. Today, is a good day. Not the first temper tantrum, yet... but it is still early. I started really thinking about that verse in Mark. Have I just forgot to pray for my baby? How often do I forget what should be so completely obvious? God made my baby, can't he fix her, should he so choose? Then again, I feel bad about complaining, I know others have way more problems than we do. But, God says to come to him, no matter how small our problems. If it's big enough for me to worry about, it's big enough to take to the Creator. So, join with me, if you will, Lord, I come to you now, completely humbled by your innocent words, take care of my baby. You created this wonderful little girl, and you know what is best for her. Help me to be the best mom I can be and show me how to best help her to feel better. I don't know what the problem is, but Lord, you do. Please show me. Lord, give us all peace. Help me to know how to handle her and how to help her grow. Thank you in advance. I love you.